simul justus et peccator.

It is not going to do me any good to conjure up the million standards I ask for in a guy and to imagine what my life with be like with him. I should not spend my time playing out future moments with my future beau. Because that’s the future and no matter how many times and ways I illustrate it in my mind, I can’t control it. I can’t shape it.

I have now and I have God. I do not have a boy. God set it up that way. The more I imagine spending my life with the man of my dreams, the less dynamic it will be once the moments are there. I’ll wear out his loveliness before I even meet him, at the rate I’m going.

I want to be pleasantly surprised at how perfect my guy will be. I won’t be if I’m expecting certain things.

Yes, it’s good to have standards. But it’s not good to dwell on them and constantly, constantly sharpen them. God knows what I need. He knows what I deserve. It’s not in my hands, who this boy is going to be and what he will look like and how he will act. It’s not in my control, despite how much authority I feel in this matter. It’s not in my control, no matter how hard I look for this boy.

It’s in God’s hands. He knows what He’s doing. He will set it up perfectly, and I need only to be patient and live my life focused on one Man only — Jesus Christ.

sketchmedesire:

dinosrawr:

*breath-taking moment

I absolutely love that moment.

What always amazes me and takes my sights off of the world is His faithfulness. He’s just always there. Always, always, always. He literally never leaves. Not when I decide to walk away and pursue something completely different from Him, not when I just flat out decide to ignore Him, not when I deny Him. He has sat through every stint of my faithlessness. He’s waited every single time. Every single time. And He’s just waited for me to return. And when I return, the only thing He shows me is love. He doesn’t tell me He’s angry at me and He doesn’t say how ashamed of myself I ought to be, even though I should. He just pulls me in closer and He tells me He’s happy I came back. He’s so happy I came back.

Who else can do that? My heart just shakes at how remarkable that love is. His love is one of a kind. Literally just… He is the only one that possesses it. I can’t even handle how special that love is.

How in the world do I ever want to walk away from that? How could I ever be so insane? What in my human heart makes me forget something so gosh darn significant?

Whatever it is, I pray God rips it out completely. Even if it’s painful, He’ll prepare me for it. I just want Him to take that ugly, destructive portion of my heart and shred it to pieces. I hate that part of my heart.

Shoot girl. Practice what you preach.

Being there when Jesus was born. Like, on the technically first Christmas.

I’d be jumping up and down in my seat with excitement. The Savior of the world is being born! Ohhh, geeeee whiz! He’s being BORN!

Could you just imagine? The magnitude of this birth. The baby who will grow up to clean up the mess we’ve all made. The little baby boy who will forgive us for eternity and show us what love looks like and feels like and acts like. To have something come into this world that there has never been anything like before… could you even imagine?

Being there when forgiveness and mercy and grace and love and hope first entered this world. That is a moment in time far more exciting than when Steve Jobs introduces his new products.

What a thought. Oh, Jesus. How you entrance me.

That boy that I posted about recently… he texted me.

And it’s no big deal or anything, but he didn’t have me in his phonebook.

He remembered my number from three years ago.

:)